As most of you know Amy is usually on the receiving end of lots of my jokes and punchlines… So once a month, (especially on months that fall on a holiday) there are times that I feel my job as a husband is to have some compassion. Of course, the easy thing to do would be to stand ten feet away, throw her Reese’s Pieces, and slide her a cardboard box of wine that she can’t use as a weapon, like she could an empty glass bottle. But when it comes to dealing with PMS and periods, I like to step right on the front lines… be like Daniel and get right in that Lion’s Den.. face that giant like David.. say the Lord’s Prayer, and shower my wife with a “Period Basket”.
This was a couple years ago.. back when her PMS was so bad that we thought she had a gluten allergy… come to find out, it was just really bad hormones. Here she is proudly displaying her present from me.
About midway through October of last year, she came home and noticed the laundry hadn’t been done on my day off. I could tell by the way her head turned around her body 360 degrees at me, that she was starting to develop symptoms of PMS.. so like a good husband, I made her a Halloween Period Basket, stocked with items like, batshit crazy brownies,A Woman’s Day magazine, wine, and of course pumpkin spice tampons.
Last year around Thanksgiving, out of nowhere I got hit with the “you need to be more caring and understanding”, speech. I took that as a challenge, and the very next day I hopped in my truck… went to CVS and the craft store, and with love, came home and handcrafted a handy dandy turkey tampon holder, for quick access.. all because I care ❤
Sometimes it’s unexpected… And you don’t have time to make a basket. I was just at the store getting a loaf of bread and BAM!!
Sometimes I just have to buy her a giant cookie to eat, so she doesn’t eat me.
It doesn’t always have to be a basket… On Mother’s Day I got really sentimental and bought her a Menstrual Tree.. loaded full of tampons, pocket rocket vodka and chocolate. It’s kind of like a Christmas tree, except for your period. I hope one day that we can tie a tire swing to this tree and push our grandchildren.. and I also hope she does not hang me from it.
This one was the Pinnacle of Period Baskets. I’m yet to outdo this one, but the good news is.. every month on the dot, I’ll get another chance to try.
You would think after all of my care packages, she could at least pack my lunch right, and cut my cucumber. But no. This. THIS is the thanks I get.